How important is Sex?
This post of Jennster's combined with a conversation I had last night, got me to thinking. How important should sex be in your relationship? Seriously Neil and aren't not really sexual people. I mean we enjoy sex, but it isn't something that takes precedent in our relationship. We're very intimate people, but being intimate for us doesn't always or even most of the time lead up to sex. I mean we're not celibate or anything....But I honestly can say that if either of us couldn't have sex for an extended period of time that we would never miss a beat. I guess we have so much more, he's my friend, my rock, my provider, the father of my child, the man of my dreams, and so much more. Sure he's my lover....But for us that comes after everything else. At the end of the day, if I crawl in bed and moan how exhausted I am, I don't have to worry about Neil trying to paw all over me. My friend that is getting married in March made note that she hopes their relationship never comes to this. Why? I mean I guess since they were sexual maybe from the beginning? Neil and I didn't have sex for awhile because we lived in two separate cities. Everything we knew about one another was through phone conversation. Maybe I'm a freak but I consider us lucky. I don't think you can make a relationship work on sex, but if it just happens to be an added bonus then that's great.
posted by Tina at 10:52 AM
3 Comments:
its important to us but it can't take precidence because we have NO time lol. we're on different work shifts and we have a 3 year old you know? we know we'll get ONE nite for sure a week to have sex cuz its date nite. but sometimes thats the ONLY nite we get to. we're both not happy about it BUT it doesn't ruin our relationship either. to us, its an added bonus. sometimes i'd rather cuddle on the couch and lay by eachother than have sex. i dont need the sex to feel loved or intimate. i totally agree.
i love what you say here, because i think it's nice. i don't think that sex should be THE most important thing in your relationship. and i'm the same way you are- like i can go for LONG periods of time without it and not give a shit. but i've always personally been that way. i think you 2 have somethign nice. i think it's nice to not have the pressure.
It's not that important in my relationship with Jason, which is good because I have issues with pain sometimes from endometriosis and also deal a lot with depression and anti-depressants (libido-killers). Luckily, Jason is very cool about me not wanting to have sex very often usually, however sometimes it hurts his feelings when we don't do it for a while. Ugh, this is such a sensitive subject for me! We have so many other great things about our relationship--this is our biggest issue, but it's not a relationship-killer or anything.
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